Well hello there, fond followers of the Hoplite Hippos  We’ve reached some pretty impressive landmarks since you last heard from us. Not only have we donated £1,000 to Chailey Heritage School at their end of term Celebration Day (we’ve not raised that much yet so we’re still holding events later on this month!).

We also recently crossed the £1,000 barrier for Frank Water, making us now officially eligible for the Rickshaw Run – a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who donated. It’s been such a joy seeing my email inbox fill with happy messages from JustGiving and every donation will make a huge difference to people in India and West Africa dying of thirst for lack of clean drinking water.

We’ve had our first lesson in two stroke engine maintenance (more on that later from Clio Williams) and we’ve been getting our International Driving Licences, Visas, vaccinations and travel insurance sorted out.

We’ve received advice from the great and the good, as well as the lowly and less good, all of which has been enormously appreciated.

Next plan is to get a mossy net, mossy spray, torch, goggles, cushions (!) and all the gear that will ensure that our madcap trek is as comfortable as possible.

You might also be aware that I am growing a moustache especially for this trip - a might soup strainer to inspire wonder and respect from all who cross our paths. I shall be keeping you informed on its and our progress as we near the off and then once we’re out on the road, driving like pillocks.

What I hope the moustache will look like by the time we leave!

Once again, thank you so much for your support so far. It has been truly humbling. We have two more events for you to peruse before we leave. 

Friday 31st August will see Blackheath Rugby Club play host to our final Charity Quiz so get your thinking caps up and head down to South East London to compete for some awesome prizes. £10 gets you in, gets you some dinner and gets a raffle ticket.

 Saturday 1st September is our farewell bash. Do please turn up to see us off, pledge a few pennies to the cause and offer us your best advice for the trip ahead. 

 Cheerio and Pip Pip

 Charlie, Clio and Alice

Plane Tickets

 
Well guess what us silly buggers have gone and done!! We’ve only bought our bloomin’ plane tickets to India!! We’re definitely going now... no backing out.

Our first payment was for the entry fee itself, many moons ago. It was a charitable donation to those friendly Adventurists for arranging everything and so that we could get our name on the board before any other thrill-seeking loons. That was one thing – we could back out of that, cower away from the challenge with proverbial tails tucked between legs and exclaim: “My God, for a minute there I thought I wanted to travel across India in a rickshaw. Whew! That was mad wasn't it!”

Now, though, we’ve paid Air India a chunky sum of money and there’s no backing out of that! After confirming with our bank managers that no sneaky fellow has hacked into our accounts and that we are indeed travelling to India ourselves, there just remains the rest of the tricky little payments and jobs to consider before the big off.

The Adventurists have been dashed helpful over the last few months, sending cheerful and encouraging emails.

They’ve told us where to get our health insurance (God knows how they’ve found someone crazy enough to insure this monumentally dangerous challenge), they’ve told us about the perils of the road, of the need for an International Driving Licence, for numerous vaccinations and for the visa to get us into India in the first place. All these challenges still await us in the upcoming month or so. We shall keep you updated as we progress through these little bumps in the road. But for now, let us savour this glorious moment, this point of no return.

We’re all bloody excited I can tell you.
Well, excited and occasionally terrified and out of our depth. But that’s often a damned fine place to be!
 

Words of wisdom from a veteran rickshaw rambler:

Well, some kindly veteran of the Rickshaw Run was chatting to Clio about our little adventure and gave her some advice for the trip which we now relate to you good reader.

I dare say I am jealous! You are set to have a most excellent adventure. In terms of tips, I recommend the following:

- Get a radio fitted. Tunes are 101% essential. 

- Bring a very good medical kit. After my accident I got blood poisoning and nearly had my leg chopped off but what REALLY scared me was the thought that I might have contracted HIV/ Hep A-Z etc from the dirty needles they used. 

- Take it slowly and set realistic goals. Half the reason I got in such trouble was trying to 'make time' on the motorway. Our goal of completing in 3 weeks or just over was seriously unrealistic and we had to do quite a lot of all nighters to even get half way (which is when we crashed).  Maybe prepare a contingency plan for abandoning/ shipping the tuk tuk to the finish if you have limited time.

- Take big rolling papers (if that's your kind of thing).

- Beware of thieves. You'll often be mobbed by beggars/ curious onlookers/ gentlemen of dubious moral fibres when stationary and they will endeavour to relieve you of your belongings. The Indians are on the whole very good people, but some of them see you as insanely rich Westerners and consider it a moral duty to rob you.

- Eat local and avoid meat. 

- Don't take too much stuff. I'd recommend packing as light as possible as a 7 BHP tuk tuks's performance is seriously inhibited by weight. Also, putting things on the roof makes the vehicle seriously unstable (another cause of our little James Bond style barrel roll).



Ps. a good map would be useful, as well as GPS (cheating). Indians are likely to give you the answer you think you want to hear, so don't always believe them if they say Goa is just over the hill when you are still in Cochin...!! 

A Sobering Chat

I was at the Craft Guild of Chefs Awards the other week at Wembley Stadium with Pub and Bar magazine. With my bowtie straightened, my Prosecco topped up and my national fervour pleasantly aroused by staring out at the hallowed turf of Wem-ber-ley, I entered the throng of dinner jacketed folk and began to mingle.Before long I am chatting to Mehernosh Mody, who would later will the Ethnic Chef Award, and his wife, Sherin.
After they explain where they were originally from in India, I blurt out that I will be travelling through that very country in a few months time.
“Really, how wonderful,” says Mehernosh. “Where are you going?”
“Well,” I reply, puffing my chest out with pride and excitement. “We’re going from Shillong in the far north east to Jaisalmer near the Pakistani border.”
They nod sagely, clearly pleased with my choice of route.
“How long are you taking?”
“Two weeks,” comes the cheerful reply.
“That should be fine to see the sights,” they say. “Are you taking the train the whole way?””
“No,” I admit with a nervous grin. “We’re going by rickshaw.”
There is a silence for a few seconds as the couple digest what I have just told them. They glance at each other, as silently asking if this tuxedoed loon in front of them is pulling their leg.
Finally, Mrs Mody speaks up.
“Well, do be careful. Those drivers go very fast. Be sure to hold on tight and don’t bothering telling to slow down. He won’t.”
“Oh no,” I interject, realising there has been a misunderstanding. “We’re not being driven in the rickshaw. We’re driving the rickshaw.”
The silence that follows this is interspersed with some stunned coughs.
“You’re driving?” The tone is more concerned than condescending.
“Oh yes, there are three of us going.”
“And you’re driving?”
“Well, me and Alice. Clio doesn’t have a driving licence.”
Their eyes are wide, the only thing keeping their jaws from plummeting to the ground is their good manners. Mehernosh scratches his head absent-mindedly.
“And you have driven in India before?”
“Nope... never even been before.”
“You’ve driven in the Far East.”
“Jordan,” I say, the confidence and optimism in my voice changing to quavering cheerfulness with every answer.
They smile, as though comparing Jordanian traffic to Indian traffic is like comparing a Smirnoff Ice to Absinthe.
“That’s... not quite the same. They will drive wherever they want at whatever speed they want. Do be careful. So you’re friends... have they been to India before?”
“No.” The tone is now seriously lacking in confidence.
“Can any of you speak any Indian languages?”
“... No.” This is looking decidedly ominous.
“Well, I have to say. You’re very...” he struggles for a word that doesn’t mean ‘stupid’. “You’re very brave.”
“Thank you,” I say with a broad grin. “I think this’ll be something that I’ll hate when I’m doing it but will look back on with really fond memories.”
“Oh you won’t hate it,” they say with an encouraging smile. “You’ll have a wonderful time. India is a wonderful place. Do bring some stomach tablets though.”
I laugh. This, at least, I knew about.
“Oh yes, I’ll be packing those in abundance.”
“Well good luck and all the best,” the couple say with encouraging smiles that suggest that the next time they expect to see me will be on the news.
They move away into the crowd and I am left with an empty flute and a nervous smile.

It’ll be fine, I tell myself, shaking my head at the moment’s doubt. They said I’d have a wonderful time. Nothing to worry about. Now where’s that girl with the booze?

Big Thank You to all who came to Charity Quiz the Second!


And a Big Thank You to all those who generously donated prizes for the enormous raffle! They are listed below:-

The Black Cat Brewery - Three bottles of yummy beer

Harvery's Brewery - Six bottles of yummy beer

Zita Wells - Bottle of champagne

Tescos - Chocolates

Uckfield Cinema - Cinema tickets

Andersons Gunsmiths - Dents Scarf

Broadleys - £30 voucher

Zest - Writing set

Crowborough Pet Food Shop - £5 voucher

The Hatch - Meal for two

Roochi - £20 voucher

Waterstones - Hardback bestseller

Davidoff of London - Three Montecristos

Wych Cross Garden Centre

Vicki Searle - Singing lesson

Talia Harling - Drama lesson

Clio Williams - Pearl earrings

Jonie Lai Hawksley - Golf game, Golf set and tickets to Alton Towers

Heston Blumenthal - A big recipe book

Peter and Sue Whitting - a bottle of wine

Charity Quiz the Second

We’ve been writing to sponsors, buying our airline tickets, getting confused about visas, vaccinations and driving licences and, of course, chatting to veterans of the Rickshaw Run to assess our chances.We’ve also done another charity quiz, bigger, better and more brazen than the last.
 
In the heart of the Ashdown Forest, that enchanted place where Pooh and Piglet played Pooh Sticks there stands a great towering castle atop a mystical hill. It was to here that Norfolk and Clue hastened for their next big challenge: a charity quiz that would play host to twice the numbers of the first, many of them pub quizzers of frightening experience.

The questions sallied forth into the room. Answers, retorts, laughter and the occasional stunned silence met them as intellects grappled with a range of devious subjects and a plethora of unanswerable questions. At half time, it was still anybody’s game and the competitors went for a half time snack. Mountains of chilli and a mass of delectable puddings had been laid on by Sue, the Lady of the House, and city folk mingled with forest dwellers as they sated their appetites together. And then with the toot of a 1920s car horn, battle recommenced.
From cigars to singing lessons, golf sets to dinners for two, the prizes kept coming, often to the same person! Jonie must have had every one of her tickets pulled from the bucket. Her cries of embarrassed success were a wonder to behold, while her returning of the prizes to the pot for others to win was a selfless act oft repeated as the prizes were read out.
Thank you to everyone who came for your great spirit, which made the event such a success. Thank you to everyone who donated a prize (list to follow) for your generosity. And thank you to the marvelous hosts for all their sterling work. We toasted you long into the night and shall continue to do so as we rattle our way across India!!!  

Charity Quiz the Second Well, it has certainly been a long time since this board last saw any action, the poor wallflower (pun intended)! But don’t let that fool you into thinking that we’ve been slacking. Oh no.

Competitors from across the county and beyond sauntered into the drawing room of Casa de Whitting (crammed full of tables and chairs) to take their places or to queue at the makeshift bar, manned by the ebullient barman Peter Whitting Esq. Once the crowd had settled, match fees paid and thirsts quenched for the moment, Norfolk and Clue stood up before the multitude. Behind them was arrayed perhaps the largest haul of raffle prizes ever gathered in a single place.

The tension was rising to unbearable levels as the second half stumbled to its conclusion, with howls of frustration and roars of triumph echoing around the halls of the castle as each answer was read out. In the end it was the pub quiz veterans, The Alligators, who reigned victorious over the field of battle. Clue marched through a room thronging with distraught teams, weeping, wailing and calling out for more ‘pink for a drink’ tickets, to present the winning team with their prize: a bottle of Champers from Berry Bros and Rudd.

And then the marathon prize giving of the raffle began in earnest.

And then it was all over. Much had been drunk, much had been eaten and much had been won.

Well, last week we held our first fundraising event - a pub quiz in Davy's Wine Bar!! By all accounts it seems to have been a rousing success and we raised a tidy sum of money for our charities. Thanks to all who came and made it such a great evening. Please find the epic account of the evening below.
(This rendition may strike some of you as very familiar but hey ho, it was good the first time, why not use it again!)

On a balmy May evening that held the promise of warmer days to come, a veritable horde of folk descended upon Davy’s Wine Bar in Crown Passage. They came in their tens, pouring into the depths of the drinking den for one reason and for one reason alone: to pit their wits against each other in a series of gruelling quiz questions (well also to quaff pints, scoff sandwiches and glug wine but that’s beside the point).

Deep in the candlelit cellar smart phones were rendered useless by impenetrable stone as Quizmaster Norfolk and his glamorous assistant Clue stood up to welcome their guests.

Then, at the slosh of the first (well third most likely) pint, battle commenced.

The room was filled with the din of intellectual combat – the bellow of questions, the plea for answers, the hushed chatter of teams conferring. Pens were unsheathed, brains racked and paper scrawled with the epitaphs of dying intellects.

In the ensuing carnage it became clear that one team alone bore the favour of the gods. A rabble of miscreants, known only as ‘Crack4Kidz’ was ploughing ahead, leaving those remaining to brawl amongst themselves for the remaining spoils.

And after the turmoil, when mental skirmish had wreaked its havoc and failed guesses lay strewn about the sorry pain, the scores proclaimed them conquerors of all that they surveyed. By this point in the evening that wasn’t very much and it was very blurry anyway.

Still, giddy with the thrill of being know-it-alls, they raised to heaven their sweet reward – Champagne from the hallowed halls of Harrods.

For the rest there was only the heartless lottery of the raffle to soften the agony of defeat. Fine cigars from Davidoff, pearls from the South China Sea, rugby shirts from ancient Blackheath, lemon drizzle cake from Clio’s kitchen – all were given to those blessed by the gods of Fate.

For some the agony of defeat was too much. Tears were shed, breasts beaten, cheeks torn, and we were curtly informed that last orders was five minutes ago.

And so they stepped out into the velvet night, brave warriors all, some clutching the spoils of war, some gulping down the last drops of alcohol left to them, some still arguing that it was surely obvious that the last flag had been Colombia’s.

The future holds many chances of redemption though. Norfolk and Clue will return to preside over two more epic battles of wit. Stay with us for more details, oh faithful reader.

The coveted raffle prizes 

 The winning team with Clio (aka Clue)

Our Route (First Draft)

Well my dear friends,
Yesterday Clio and I (Charlie) spent some lonely hours in the Sunday Times offices concocting the arduous and adventurous route that we will be taking on our Rickshaw Run. 
And here it is, Rickshaw Run Route Mark I:-

As you can see we're not exactly deviating much from the straight and narrow and this is because we're expecting to spend a few hours each day fixing our beloved machine, tending to our wounds and scoffing lots of curry whilst praying that we don't get sick (we will... everyone does...).
But our route does take us across the mighty Ganges, through the ancient cities of Agra, Jaipur and Jodhpur and will see us within spitting distance of Nepal, Bangladesh and Pakistan.
It looks like we're going to have to average about 220 km every day which, going at our optimistic expected average speed of 30 km/h (that's 18 mph by the way), should take us the better part of 8 gruelling hours. Well this trip ain't for the faint of heart now, is it?
As mentioned in our opening blog, we're doing all this for Frank Water Charity and the Chailey Heritage School. Do please visit our Just Giving page at http://www.justgiving.com/Charles-Whitting to donate to Frank Water and come to our events as well to raise money for Chailey, Frank and to raise some petrol and repair funds for us!
Next month will see the first of what we hope will be many fundraising events - The Crown Passage Charity Quiz at Davy's Wine Bar. Do please organise a team and come down to support us. £6 a head buys you entry and some free grub while £10 a head buys you that and also 5 raffle tickets.
Looking forward to seeing you all!!


Charlie, Clio, Martin and Alice

Introduction

Well hello there!

Fancy seeing you here.

My name is Charlie and this is Clio and Alice. We are the Hoplite Hippos and, for reasons perhaps best explained later, we’re embarking on an awe-inspiringly ill-advised trip across India. We’re setting out from Shillong, a sleepy town (by Indian standards) in the far north-eastern reaches of this vast and exotic country. We’ll then be skirting around Bangladesh, crossing the Ganges and heading onwards along the foothills of the Himalayas, across two and half thousand kilometres of dusty, crowded, badly maintained roads, popping through New Delhi, Jaipur and Jodhpur on our way before crossing the finishing line two weeks later (we hope!) in Jaisalmer. So far so reckless. This would be a gruelling trek for any hardened adventurer whether they travelled by car or by train... or even by bus.

But we’re going a step further in our lunacy. Not for us the creature comforts of the famous Indian National Railway. And a car? Pah! We scoffed at such luxuries as air conditioning, proper suspension, an engine more powerful than a lawnmower... doors... four wheels.

No we’ve chosen for our faithful steed... a tuk tuk, a motorised rickshaw, a three-wheeled, four-seater motorbike with a canopy: a deathtrap in other words.

This fine piece of mechanical engineering has a top speed of 50 mph (if your full laden and going down a hill!), an engine that would be better suited powering a child’s toy and an unfortunate habit of breaking down, rolling, crashing and generally causing mayhem on the streets of India. With three of us crammed into the back “map-reading” and one of our intrepid bunch (me, most likely!) bravely taking the helm of this three wheeled, two-stroke, one destination, no hope masterpiece we will bumble our way across some of the most treacherous terrain and high-risk highways that the vast continent of Asia has to offer.

So why are we embarking on this adventure?

Why, to raise money for charity! Why else!

The crazy buggers who have arranged all this (The Adventurists) have done so in association with Frank Water, an incredible charity that brings fresh water to the millions upon millions of Indians who desperately need it. For more information about the fantastic work that they’re doing please check out their website at www.frankwater.com. We’ve been set a target of £1,000 to raise for this noble cause and frankly (pun intended!), we think we can beat that.

In addition to Frank Water we’re also looking to raise money for the Chailey Heritage School, a remarkable school in Southern England that cares for boys and girls aged 3-19 with multiple and complex disabilities (www.chs.org.uk).

We’ll be keeping you lovely lovely people up to date with our preparations for this delightfully foolhardy trip, both our personal “training” and charity events, and will also be maintaining a daily blog as we travel (internet etc. permitting). So please follow this blog, join our Just Giving page, come to our glorious events (end of April springs to mind!) and wish us luck.

After all, this ain’t no beach holiday we’re going to be doing. This is going to hurt!

Thanking you all in advance!

Charles Whitting

Clio Williams

Alice Abdullah